[I wrote this story for my sister back in the early noughties, as a spoof on the romantic chicklit that flourished at that time. There are many, many in-jokes here, including quite a few lines taken from the script of that incomparable chick flick, Clueless.]
Bunty wandered absentmindedly into reception and said, “Two Dictaphone tapes and one email, if you wouldn’t mind.”
He squinted at me.
“God, Piggy, you’ve improved over lunch. Did you go for a face lift?”
I threw the tapes at him.
‘I’ve been demoted!” I screamed. “Selma has drowned! And if that isn’t enough I missed out on a fantastic DKNY deal this afternoon. And – “ I held out my phone. “Look at this. My boyfriend has been two-timing me.”
I slammed the phone on the reception desk.
Bunty looked at the offending photo over his glasses.
“He’s your boyfriend?”
He sucked in air through his clenched teeth.
“Well, I’d say this calls for one thing, Daze.”
“What?” I snapped.